Well guess what, Gordie has been on TV telling everyone how important it is that we remain in Afghanistan despite the fact that our soldiers continue to get killed for no discernible benefit. Did this man never study history and the futility of trying to bring civilisation to that god forsaken country?
Meanwhile on to more important matters. Royal Mail - that wonderful strike ridden organisation that has difficulties delivering the mail - is bringing out a new special stamp issue to celebrate well known comedians (they could start with the bosses of their unions who clearly do not live in the real world). Well apparently Benny Hill (the fastest milkman in the West) is being excluded on the grounds that he is not sufficiently PC. Believe it or not this is true - I am not making it up! Obviously it is important that we do not celebrate somebody so dangerous to our sense of moral well being and civilised values. Oh for goodness sake……
Moving on to another whinge of old farts about standards in education, further weight has been added within the last day or two to the criticism that the standard of teaching is woeful. One in ten children asked who Adolf Hitler was thought he managed a football team and that the blitz was a clean up programme after the last war. As an example of science teaching a set question for 14 year olds was ‘What powers a solar mole deterrant?’ - no really. So don’t tell me standards are in decline or suggest that all the A grades pupils now receive are anything other than the product of incredibly hard work and being much brainier than our generation.
You rotten old bleeders! Gawd I hate you old gits. We was all set for my new book to be best seller at Christmas——its the latest in my life story called ” Jordan 2008-2009—-the Twin Peak Years” but now my agent says your crap ” Goldenfarts” is a cert. ‘e says your stuff is like Shelley ‘n Keats—–I don’t no nofink about them ‘cept there kind of old days Ant’n Dec ‘innit. Why dont you old gits stick to bowls and your 1930’s pinup Penelope Keith and leave the trendy books to young people
Balls to yer all Katie
To Goldenfarts I’m depressed beyond description having just read your masterpiece publication” Goldenfarts—intellectual essays”. To think I spent all these in futile years in attempts to do something that you have mastered with ease. I bow to your skill and wisdom. You deserve every penny that you are about to receive from Lord Oldfart.
Accepting defeat is not easy but I intend to try a new avenue of endevour to pay the rent. Does anyone know anything about IT? I’ve heard that its easy to make a shedload and retire to a large house without really knowing anything or doing much.Any advice would be gladly received. Louis