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Fiddling MPs

It now emerges that the three Labour MPs to be charged with fraud for fiddling their expenses may claim parliamentary privilege under an ancient ruling to escape prosecution. Don’t you just love these elected custodians of our liberty? Doesn’t it bring a warm glow to your heart? And as if that is not enough now that they are resigning their seats (well being chucked out by their own party as it happens) they will still be entitled to the redundancy payoff - that’s another £150k between them. It gets better and better.

Meanwhile we are promised more snow this week. How much is uncertain but everybody I speak to has had enough now. We did have a little taste of spring at the end of last week - I was sitting drinking coffee by the sea in Brighton - but alas it seems we have to suffer some more. This week should also see the arrival of our new (much larger!) oil tank which may be just as well if it is going to get colder. The present one is clearly totally inadequate for the house. So our oil supply problems should get better - we hope.

6 Responses to “Fiddling MPs”

  1. wild man of borneo says:

    Old fart

    I heard that MPs go well in the pot . English man caught in jungle not good lately . Too tough and most have rag on head . What goes on . Tell Gordie to send many MPs . We very hungry

    Wild man of borneo

  2. N Vira Mentalist says:

    Shame on you ” sitting by the sea ….waiting for the arrival of my own oil tanker”. Don’t you realise the planet will die next Thursday ( Al Gore himself says so) because of people like you. Cluttering up the Channel with your selfish heating needs.Typical capitalist….roll on the revolution

  3. To whom it may concern.

    I have followed your blog since the start but never responded until now…..what the effs happened to you? You’ve gone soft, drinking coffee by the sea, bleedin oil tanks,snow drops, namby pampy soft southener bleets about M.P.s and expense fiddles. You were in I.T. don’t tell me you never billed for a consultancy day you were supposed to be working on the project, but spent all day in the massage parlour. All this ‘in touch with your feminine side’ crap! Come on old fart you really have become one…..lets get back to some nitty gritty stuff…rent boys,her at the gatehouse,your porn production etc.

    Willie.

  4. Greek Embassy, London says:

    Dear Mr Oldfart We have been instructed by our PM Mr Owesalopulus to demand that you return to Athens urgently.Until recently our proud country was a economic powerhouse, centre of the Med tiger economy.Then we responded to your ad in the Athens Bugle offering ” cheap consulting from Europe’s top IT guru geezer”. Based on this we installed the 3 BBC Acorn computers and your software package Easyeuro which you claimed had been ” knocked out on the side by me mate Bill Gates”. Mr Gates’s office now denies any such contact..Since adopting your currency management system our financial position has tumbled, our bonds rated triple junk and we are now 345th out of 345 developed countries.
    This nation demands action. Our proud history includes great thinkers like Euclid and Plato; maths experts like Pythagarus and other blokes right up to O level; in music the singing tent Demis Rousos and the bloke out of Wham who went solo. Also we invented that sweet yoghurt and homosexuality. So don’y mess with us.We demand some action

  5. hyacynth bunch says:

    my dear old fart

    I must agree with willy shagger about the loss of relevence of your blog . we in the WI crave a little smut and the entries on your blog have caused many of members to have tingles that they long thought were a distant memory .As a result our membership has increased as more and more frustrated spinsters join us serching for an outlet to their sexual frustration. And of course we all lived in hope of being asked to take part in one of your porno movies or even entertaining your clients when the Old Farts Manor opens its doors .
    Alas recently as willy says there has been meaningless drival about snow , MPs expenses, and coffee on the beech in Brighton . Why Brighton anyway . This has caused many of our members to wonder if they have been misled about your sexual orientation . We hope not . We pine your youthful body . We await with desperate anticipation word of your antics in the gate house

    Old fart please satisfy your readers ( whoops that sounds bad dosent it !) by going back to what you do best - helping many of our members relive their deprived youth

    Yours Hyacynth xxx

  6. urban eric says:

    Gooday me old mate

    Just wanted to tell you that I dont give a ***** about the old MPs as long as they look after the ordinary blokes like me . I mean I got me benefits last week - 560 quid plus an advance of 1560 and disability on top of 2500 quid and here I am like I buggered off to Australia not a friging care in the world mate . Well apart from them Shielas that is like how do I get them in the sack when tyhey all seem to be with big buggers called Bruce know what I mean !!!!

    Any road the old jet lag is rubbish so when Im Ok Ill let you know whats going on down under . Meantime enjoy that snow and the old coffee in Brighton but keep your back to the wall mate !!!!!

    Eric

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